The Walk-In Closet

Inspiration is a lot like espresso for me, when it hits, it hits hard.

This blog/vlog idea has been a long time coming for me. I’ve talked about it for a while. I’ve talked circles and circles around it. I mostly considered why it’s a bad idea, all the friends I know who have started travel blogs, fashion blogs, foodie blogs, inspirational blogs, all the blogs. I feel like we’re blogged out, and our attention span is too short to actually read a full page of thought. Yet here we are.

I journal semi-regularly. I go to therapy whenever I can stomach it. I rant on my Instagram story pretty consistently. Usually it’s about the frustrations, misunderstandings, or major victories.

I didn’t want to write. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want to be conceived as defending myself, over-sharing, or being vulnerable for no real purpose. But here we are fam! My biggest passion right now is bridging the gap. I feel as if I was made for it. Made to extend an olive branch. Made it explain, listen, give grace, and educate.

Inspiration hit me hard this month. Good friends who push you and challenge you to step into your full purpose. June is a welcomed month of inclusion, excitement, and sharing more of who we are as people. And death can be the biggest inspiration of them all. Losing someone close to you can make you reevaluate your life in such a powerful way that nothing else really can.

I want my life to have purpose and intention. I want to be generous with my time and words. I want to be someone that speaks and can bring a respectable idea to the table. I want my life to be full of brutal honesty, a compassionate heart. I don’t want it only said of me, “oh she overcame a lot, she got to travel to some cool places, and lived a mediocre life.”

I want to dive deeper. Talk about those uncomfortable thoughts that we all have. Expose the darkness in our beliefs. Bring two parties together, and who knows, maybe we could get along after all.

Welcome to the walk-in closet where all are loved, included, and have a place at the table. I named this baby “The Walk-In Closet,” because the closet is a place I grew very comfortable and accustomed to. Whether you’re out of the closet, still in it, already cringing, or never thought about it a day in your life, this is a safe space where questions are encouraged, grace is necessary, and wine is a close friend.

We are hardwired for belonging. The opposite of belonging is fitting in. Belonging is belonging to yourself first. Speaking your truth, telling your story, and never betraying yourself for other people. True belonging doesn’t require yourself to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are. -Brene Brown

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Let’s begin with a little about me. Name is Deb, some call me Gordita. I was born and raised in the church, did the Christian school thing my whole life. Christian high school, conservative Ohio schooling, involved in missions, and landed back in South Florida living a fast-paced life.

For the longest, I suppressed my true self, feeling as if I had no place to be truly gay and fully a child of God. I could never belong to either group without feeling ostracized from the other. When with gay friends, I didn’t feel as if I could bring up my relationship with God without feeling like I brought up a painful memory for everyone in the room. When with my Christian friends, I didn’t feel like I could bring up my sexuality without making everyone question my ability to connect with God, my faith, or intentions.

After my many years of crying out to God for change, I’ve begun to find my peace and spirit of belonging. In my process of coming out the last few years, I’ve had all the expected and unexpected reactions. From “duh, I’ve known since you were a kid,” to Facebook messages of, “repent and believe now because you’re going to hell.” What I’ve learned most throughout it is that we’re all in process. We are each on our own personal walks evolving who we are, what we believe, and making the most of our beautiful messes.

My goal of starting The Walk-In Closet blog was to create a space to:

Spread love
Stay educated
Bridge the gap

From the people who already know me, they know I value truth, an educated point of view, studying the Bible, and sharing my thoughts. I’m all about bringing two opposite viewpoints together and learning how to best disagree in love without exclusion. I’ve had many close family and friends, who I respect, ask a lot of GREAT, intentional questions about affirming theology, the tension between grace and obedience, how to love someone they disagree with, etc.

This blog is for everyone. The conservative, the liberal, the gay babies, the closeted, scared Christian. Please enjoy and leave your pride (no, not that kind), preconceived notions, and beliefs at the door as you get comfortable. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a glass of wine, and let’s chat.

The Walk-In Closet

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Deeper

The Journey Begins